To-do list guilt? Be kind to yourself

Don’t let your to-do list get you down.

A to-do list is considered a hallmark of an organised and productive person. 

Lists are certainly a useful tool for anyone who needs to get stuff done – they help us sort out our thoughts, provide a visual aid, and offer a satisfying sense of completion when we tick off a task. 

However, to-do lists can cause an overwhelming sense of guilt if we don’t achieve as much as we hoped. 

An unfinished to-do list is nothing to be ashamed of – after all, life happens to the best of us.

Here are some pointers for managing the guilt and being kind to yourself when things don’t go to plan. 

1. Be realistic

You’re guaranteed an unhappy ending if you’re too optimistic about what you can get done in a day. 

Don’t set yourself up to fail; use your experience and your self-awareness to ensure you’re making an achievable list. 

Some people like to put a little homework into this, tracking their time over a few days or weeks to see how much time particular tasks will realistically take.

Don’t forget you’ll need to eat too, and perhaps have a little downtime in your day! 

Overcommitting to a very aspirational to-do list is admirable, but it’s not going to end well in most cases. Knowing yourself, your capabilities, and your capacity will help you feel more in control. 

2. Prioritise

You may not get everything on your list done, so to minimise that sinking feeling of guilt, focus on the most important things first.

The buzzword for this is MITs – Most Important Tasks. Decide each morning or each Monday (or whenever you write your to-do list) what your MITs are and put them at the top of your list.

Be sparing with these; there’s no point in specifying the most urgent tasks if you slap that label on most of them. Consider deadlines if you have them, and what is going to make you feel the most productive and relaxed at the end of the day.

3. Roll tasks over

A big part of escaping to-do list guilt is just working on the ability to accept you won’t always get everything done – even on your realistic, prioritised list! And that’s fine. Life happens. Be aware of that fact, and come to terms with it.

Making your list a little flexible, with the option to roll tasks over into the next day, can go a long way toward keeping you content. 

If you have identified your MITs and focused on getting those done, it’s no problem to move the other bits and pieces to tomorrow’s agenda – and knowing that will alleviate some of that productivity guilt and stress.

4. Make a “have-done” list

For some, just looking at their list with some entries left unticked can trigger anxiety or guilt. There’s a simple way to deal with that: throw away the to-do list and replace it with your have-done list in which every item is squared away. 

It’s a small thing, but it can make you feel better about your day and what you have achieved – which is worth a lot!

Hopefully, these tips will keep you guilt-free and feeling good about your productivity. Above all, be kind to yourself. 


Find out how Mentemia can help improve mental wellbeing in your workplace.


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